Planning time for Mum.

"Back to school" is almost here and it has started me thinking about how the pace of our leisurely "school holiday" days will change very soon. Once the school term starts there are many activities to fit in across the week for the kids, meetings to attend and general household up keep. It does become quite a juggling act and where does time for mum come in this equation?

BURNT CHOP
Back in my early corporate days I attended a Springboard workshop for women. This would be at least 12 years ago now, and there is only vague memories of the workshop, with the exception of an analogy that the trainer made. She said that mothers tended to always give themselves the "burnt chop'. That is , the mother would put everyone elses needs above hers and have what was left. Although the thought of having children was nowhere in my head at this stage, the statement resonated with me, because this was exactly what my lovely mother did and the majority of my friends' mothers as well.

I have to admit that there have been (too many) instances where I have forgone things that I would have liked to have done, in order that we fitted everything else in for the family. But since I have implemented my simple planning approach across most of our family life, I have found that this happens much less often.

This may come across as if I am being a little bit self centred, but in reality looking after myself is beneficial to the family. I find that the mood of the house tends to revolve around my mood. If I am tired, snitchy or lacking in energy, the kids will often feed off this and there is more bickering amongst them; if I ask them to do something there is more resistance; and they can find it difficult to amuse themselves. Making the time to look after myself can prevent these scenarios.

WHY TIME FOR MUM IS SO IMPORTANT
It is to the benefit of my family that I have time for me. For example, my 3 sessions at the gym a week. I don't have set days that I go to, but the family all works towards me getting to the gym 3 times a week.

There are direct benefits for me in this being achieved and an indirect benefits to the family in the following ways:

It makes me less cranky.
I can be very grumpy when I leave the house, but after the endorphins kick in on the treadmill, I begin to feel much happier and bring this mood home with me.
I sleep better.
Very similar to above, the better I sleep, the less tired and cranky I am.
Gives me more energy
Running around with the 4 kids can get pretty tiring, I find regular exercise gives me stamina.
I have some time to just have my own thoughts.
I put on my MP3 player and I don't have to answer any questions or worry about the needs of others for that hour!

Basically when I go to the gym, I come back refreshed and happier to spend time with everyone. Going to the gym is not the only way I can do this. Socialising and adult activities have a similar effect on my mood. I make sure that I schedule time for these activities and although it may only be once a quarter, when combined they give my life the variety I need to stay healthy, happy and sane. These are the most important ones that I make sure I plan for:

For dearest and I to go out together.
It is lovely to just have some time for us where we can connect together outside the home.
See my friends without the children around.
Two of dearest friends in Melbourne also have children and we catch up regularly during the day and the 9 kids love to play together. But we don't have many uninterrupted conversations, so we make sure that every few months, we have a night together where we can talk uninterrupted. (This is also the case with my lovely 3 sisters and other groups of friends.)
Non child related activity.
I love my children dearly, but I do not want to be one dimensional, having a non child related activity (in my case politics) makes my brain to think in different ways and I can become exposed to new thoughts and ideas.

Like most things in life, this is a work in progress and sometimes I plan well and get the balance right. Sometimes the unplanned rears its head and things get out of kilter. But by valuing these activities enough to schedule them, I have a much greater chance of looking after me and therefore taking better care of my family.

Our own Animation

NB. I have tried numerous times through out the day to upload the photos and video of our outing and have not been successful, I think blogger/my PC is having an issue. I will try again tomorrow.

Yesterday I took the kids into the city, to the Australian Centre for the Moving Image (ACMI) which is located at Federation Square. We went to take part in an animation workshop which we had short listed as one of the school holiday activities that we wanted to do.

It was a fantastic experience. The children were each given a bag with coloured modelling clay and a place at table, which had photo instructions of how to model a penguin. The kids didn't have to make a penguin, so little Rascal decided to make a spider and a fly. Babaganouski was more interested in just squishing the clay, but we managed to make a small penguin with what remained of his clay.

Once we had made our characters, we then were assisted by the lovely and patient Kate, who helped the children organise their characters on the set. The kids then developed a short story line, from which Kate then directed the children on how to slightly move each character between shots. Every one except Babagansouki had a turn at this and the kids followed Kate's instructions intently. Kate used a video cam and laptop to take the photos.

Once the scene was finished, Kate did a few steps on the laptop and then looped the sequence and showed the kids animation on the big screen. The kids looked so proud of themselves and thought their animation was very amusing. I was able to video the laptop screen, so I can show you what they made.

On the way home the kids all agreed that the workshop had been their favourite activity of the holidays. (I need also to mention that this was completely free!!!)It was also great to see the kids get an understanding of the process behind this type of animation. It took us 10 - 15 minutes to come up with 4 seconds of screen time.

PS. Whilst we were in at Federation Square we also went to the National gallery of Victoria and saw the Yvonne Audette exhibition, which I had planned to see last Sunday. After enjoying the exhibition the children then had the chance to make their own Yvonne Audette inspired collage at the ArtCart in the foyer of the gallery.

Letting children do it for themselves

"This is one of those parenting tasks that are difficult for most of us. But the benefits are great. Perhaps the most wonderful payoff in allowing your child to master life through age-appropriate tasks and skills comes from the boost to his self-esteem. The more capable a child is, the more confident the child will become. With confidence, and a full repertoire of important life skills, comes a stronger, more positive self-mage that will enable your child to take on whatever life imposes."

The above quote comes from an article called Hamburger: The Importance of Teaching Children to Do for Themselves. It was a great refresher for me on why even though it can take a lot longer sometimes, if one of the kids can do a task for themselves, I should let them do it. In the long run the benefit to me and the child are immense.

The article is an excerpt from a book by Elizabeth Pantley, titled Hidden Messages: What Our Words and Actions are Really Telling Our Children. The excerpt looks at what the hidden message is, that we send to our kids when we do things for them, when they are actually capable of doing them for themselves.

"Every single time you pick up a dirty sock, a used tissue, a crusty cereal bowl or a misplaced toy-every time you do this- you teach your child to believe in the "cleanup fairy." "

Personally I don't want my children to believe in the "cleanup fairy". There are certain tasks my children already do, but there are many more that they are capable of doing. It may require some adjustment to my processes and some investment in time, but I am going to teach the kids some new tasks and completely debunk the myth of the "cleanup fairy" in our house.

I have included some additional links on the issue of encouraging independence in children, that I am going to use to help me do the debunking and hopefully you might find them find useful as well:

The Language of Learned Helplessness Quiz
Makes you look at the type of language you use when you are talking to your children.

Raising an Independent Child
Tips on how to do this with your child.

Kids and Chores
Includes suggestions of appropriate tasks for each age group.

Why Planning Meals Works and the Importance of Shared Meal Time.

Since I have started this blog, I have had some great conversations with friends about the concept of planning with kids, in particular meal planning. As I noted in my fist post on menu planning, I used to keep quiet about my love of planning, the blog however has put an end to that!

THE BENEFITS OF MEAL PLANNING
One of the most common questions I get asked is does it work? And my answer is yes it does. There are many benefits that result from taking the time to meal plan. The benefits that our family receives from having a weekly menu plan are as follows:

• Consistent time for our evening meals.


• Variety in what we eat.


• A healthy and balanced diet.


• Only have to go to the supermarket/market once a week.


• Waste very little food, as it is used within its use by date.


• Less stress as there is no last minute rush to think about what we will eat.

IMPORTANCE OF SHARED MEAL TIME

Most importantly, all of these factors work together to ensure that we can then sit down and enjoy our evening meal together in a harmonious way. The evening family meal is a very important time in our house. We use this opportunity as a time to share stories about our day, talk about things that might be worrying us, talk about what is making news in the world and for the adults, a time for us to role model dinner table etiquette.

It is expected that all children sit at the dinner table and that there are no other distractions; that is the TV/stereo is turned off, no toys at the table and if the phone rings it goes to message bank. Conversation is natural and informal, but if things are a little quiet, I will generally start about giving an update on my day and some things that happened that I think the kids will find interesting.

We have been doing this since our oldest son started to eat proper meals. Our daughter Possum quite often takes the lead role now in instigating the conversation (if it is lacking), by saying "Who wants to talk about their day?" When Possum first started to contribute to the conversations, it was literally a babble, with one or two words that we might be able to understand. However she understood what every one else was doing and wanted to participate to. We made sure she had her turn and that she knew we had listened to her, by repeating back the words that we understood. For example "Thank you for telling us about the dog."

It is at meal times that I find out some of the more interesting stuff that is going on in their school lives. I think this happens because the atmosphere is warm, attentive and light hearted. If there are issues that I think need to be addressed from what has been shared, I prefer to take it up later with the child in an individual setting. The aim of this is to keep family meal time enjoyable.

It is hard to produce this type of setting, if I have just come back from a rushed trip to the supermarket and the toddler and preschooler are crying/whining because they are hungry and tired, whilst I am trying to put the meal together. I then tend to go to the dinner table with increased stress levels, which the children seem to feed off.

By planning my meals it eliminates most of the above. Life with children is never perfect so there are times when we are running late etc and some of us are irritable at the table, but the majority of our evening meals are a pleasant shared experience with the children that I enjoy.

10 things to do before the school holidays end

With only a little over a week left for those of us on Victorian school holidays, I wrote myself a list of things that I need to do before the kids start back at school. This is not a list about all the exciting activities I must do with the kids before the holidays are over, but some pretty mundane tasks that should hopefully allow for a smoother start to the school term:

(1). Check all uniforms for sizing and do some stain removal.
By the end of term 4 last year, we were so busy that the uniforms were just washed, ironed and put away. I know that there are stains on some of the shirts that will come out with a good soaking or scrub.

(2). Check shoes for sizing and polish them.
It is amazing how much feet can grow in six weeks! This goes for socks as well - also checking that they are all paired up correctly and that there are enough.

(3). Check that we have all the required stationery.
We order most things through the school supplier, but we had to get a couple of extra items (see shopping expedition last week). The All for Women website has compiled a great list of stores back to school specials and references for lunch box ideas.

(4). Check all lunch boxes and drink bottles are accounted for and in working order.

(5). Ease our way back into our standard bed times and morning routines.
I love the freedom and flexibility that school holidays allows with later nights and then later mornings. However these are not particular helpful in getting us all out the door happily and on time for school.

(6).Label all books, pencils etc.
This is something I like the school boys to do themselves. I can have them with me in the study while I am on the laptop, and they can work away at this task and I can assist were necessary.

(7). Make play dough.
Our school requires each child to take a container of play dough to school which is used for rainy days. I prefer to make it myself for two reasons, firstly it is cheaper and secondly the kids like to help and we make a new batch for home. I use the recipe on the packet from McKenzies cream of tartar which can be found on their website in the cooking tips section.

(8). Paper work.
I have personal detail forms for Possum’s kinder; comments sheet to complete from the boys’ end of year reports and some registration papers for a toddler program for Babaganouski.

(9). Restock the grocery and baking cupboards.
We tend to have different morning and afternoon tea snacks, than what the children would necessarily take as snacks in their lunch boxes. I also tend to bake more during school terms, so I need to make sure I have all the essential ingredients on hand.

(10). Spend a day just hanging with the kids.
I like to have a whole day where I follow the lead of the kids, don’t look at the clock, don’t go on the computer and don’t answer the phone (until they are in bed!). It is a nice way to end the holidays.

Any other suggestions for preparing for the return to school?

Menu Plan Monday – The ingredients.

When I put together for the plan for the family, I try to think about the ingredients that I am using and how to use it in another meal if I won’t be using the entire amount of that perishable ingredient. For example yesterday we had Chicken Schnitzel and salad, from which I still half a cucumber, half a stick of celery etc., so I have planned to have a salad again with our meal on Monday night.

When we have these types of meals which come with salad, we do them as a self serve style meal which the children love. They receive a plate with their meat on it and then the salad is individually placed in portions on a platter on the table. The children can choose what else they would like to put on their plate. They know they should select a variety of food from the platters and they all do this pretty successfully, with the exception of Babaganouski who can’t seem to expand past grated carrot and slices of beetroot at the moment.

With all that said, here is our plan for this week:


Monday: Sausage and Salad

Tuesday: Spicy Chutney Chicken with Rice

Wednesday: Fish and Steamed Vegetables
Baking - Chocolate Balls (See recipe below)

Thursday: Mexibake

Friday: Leftovers

Saturday: Lamb chops with ratatouille (See recipe below)

Sunday: Roast Vegetable Lasagna

Lamb chops with ratatouille and rice (Serves 2 adults and 4 children)
The original recipe for this dish actually puts the cooked chops in with the ratatouille and simmers for a while. However this did not go down well with either the partner or the children, who prefer their chops less “soggy”. So I now serve the ratatouille on the side with rice, so their chops can stay nice and dry.

Ingredients:
1 tablespoon olive oil
14 lamb chops
1 large brown onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, crushed
1 large zucchini, chopped
1 large capsicum red, chopped
large capsicum green, chopped
1 large capsicum yellow, chopped
1 x 400g can chopped tomatoes
2 tablespoons oregano leaves
1.5 cups rice

Instructions:
(1). Put rice on to cook by your desired method.
(2). Heat oil in a large frying pan over a medium heat.
(3). Cook onion and garlic for a few minutes until the onion is soft.
(4). Add capsicums to the pan, stirring for minute and then pour in tomatoes.
(5). Cover and simmer gently for about 10 – 15 minutes.
(6). Cook lamb chops by desired method. I tend to do ours outeise on the BBQ as I like the flavour and also find cooking outside with the kids is much more pleasant.
(7). Stir oregano through ratatouille and season with salt and pepper.
(8). Place rice in a circle on plate and spoon ratatouille over rice. Add chops to plate and serve.

Chocolate Balls
This is a very old school favourite in this house. I am sure that there are many variations on this treat, but this a very simply recipe that even the kids can do.

Ingredients:
1 packet Marie biscuits1 tin condensed milk
1 – 2 tablespoons cocoaApprox 2 cups of desiccated coconut (never actually measured how much we use, maybe just start with 1, and then pour more as you need it.)

Instructions:
(1). Place Marie biscuits into a plastic bag (out of the packet) and then crush with a rolling pin.(2). Once to a consistent texture pour into a medium size bowl.
(3). Add cocoa and stir.
(4). Pour in condensed milk and combine thoroughly.
(5). Pour coconut into a shallow bowl.
(6). Using a tablespoon of mixture, roll into ball then drop into coconut and cover completely. (7). Place chocolate bowl into a container and continue making balls until you have used all the mixture.
(8). Place in an airtight container in the fridge until set.
(9). They are kept best in the fridge even once set.

I would love to hear of any variations that you might have to the chocolate ball recipe I use.

According to my plan.........

Right about now, according to my plan I should be at the NGV checking out an exhibition with the kids. To make this excursion as much fun as possible, I placed both little ones down for a sleep before we were due to go. Possum woke first, so we all had lunch, then waited for Babaganouski to wake up. The kids then went out into the front yard to play, whilst dad worked in the garden.

When the littlest one did wake up , I got him ready and went outside to find the others. They were playing in the street with the neighbours children and some of their friends. We live at the bottom of a hill and the kids love it as they get on their scooters, trikes, bikes and come down the hill at a "horrifying for mum to watch" pace. They were having such a good time and this was the first time they had seen the neighbours as they had been away most of the holidays.

I really wanted to check out the exhibition, but they looked so happy trying new tricks and making up their own games. So adhering to a Montessori influenced philosophy of "follow the child" which I like to use with the kids, I asked the the 3 older children what they would prefer to do. Thankfully it was unanimous and they all wanted to stay home and play outside.

So now with this change of plan, I am sitting outside with my laptop and watching (and shuddering) as the kids fly down the hill and enjoying their antics. On top of this, now I as have finished this post I will also get to talk to my other half who is completing his project for the front garden and enjoy some uninterrupted conversation. It is the simple things that makes one happy!