Planning time to stop and play.

In an earlier post on planning school holiday activities, I spoke about how I like to plan time with the kids so we are just at home and doing our own thing. This is not exclusive to the school holidays, but is something that I try to do throughout the school week and the weekends. Sometimes getting the balance is difficult, but I feel that is essential that I have this time to nourish and continually develop my relationships with the kids.

A number of years ago I read a fantastic book by Stanley Greenspan called The Challenging Child. I had sought this book out to try and help me manage the behaviour of my Little Rascal. He was our second son and his personality was completely different to our eldest son. What had worked with our Thinker, was simply not working for Little Rascal. In the book he goes through the different child-types and gives an insight as to how they see the world that they are in. He then offers guidance on how to parent this child taking into account their strengths and talents.

Reading this book was great on two levels, firstly it made my issues seem insignificant compared to some of the case studies; and the second was that it taught me about the concept of “Floor time”. The books spends considerable amount of time going through this process, but in brief it is a “special unstructured time that you set aside for yourself and each child”. It a 30 minute block of time, that in its entirety you have that child leading whatever activity he has chosen and he has your full attention.

Now at first I thought that I was giving each of them plenty of time like this (I had 2 boys and a newborn baby girl at this point), so I observed my own behaviour for a couple of days and what I found was that:
· Often I would choose the activity and instigate or lead the play
· Sometimes I would go to and fro to the activity, as I completed chores as well (I am very fond of multi-tasking!)
· Would answer the phone if it rang
· Would get distracted by the needs of another child.

So I made a concerted effort to have a dedicated 30 minute play session that was of his choice and led by him. How did this help me manage his behaviour you may ask? Well I got to understand him a little better. Through some imaginary play, I worked out that he found the noise levels of large groups agitating, “too loud” he would say. I also worked out that he wanted to do more for himself. “I can do this” was a common phrase to hear from him.

We (my husband also spent time doing the same thing as well) stuck at this for some months and then once I felt we had a better handle on things pulled back a bit. We used this format for our eldest when he was 7 and were trying to work through some stuff with him. He was very keen on chess at the time and we would generally spend the 30 minutes playing this. This planed time provided him with an open environment in which he talked easily and I got to find out some things that helped me manage his behaviour better. And he taught me how to play chess, which was a bonus!

30 minutes a day across four children is something that I cannot achieve in the normal run of everyday life. During school terms, a couple of times per week at 20 minutes each the best that I can manage. This is why when it comes around to school holiday time; I plan time at home, so I can spend more time with each child. We still do lots of ad hoc play and running around, but the children know that they have their allocated time and look forward to it.

At the moment, there is no issue (out of the ordinary that is!) that I am working on with any of the children, so we modify the practice a little. The modification means that the other children can participate in the time if they want to, but whose ever turn it is gets to choose the game and it is to be done their way.

For example backyard cricket is the most popular choice by the boys these holidays, but they have different preferences in the rules. Little Rascal will generally state that there you can’t go out first ball, there is “auto-wickie” (automatic wicket keeper for any edges behind the stumps) , you can run on overthrows and byes and that it is “running wicket” (you can be run out at either end). The Thinker is generally the opposite of this, but they both are happy to play in each other’s turn because they know that they get a chance to do this too. Possum prefers playing “mums and dads” at the moment and the boys then go and play cricket by themselves! Babaganouski is obsessed with cars and balls, so that is about all we do together. If we have had consecutive days were we have been out or had visitors and been unable to have the allocated time, one or all of the children will ask “when is it my time next?”

Planning time with each child sounds so simple that it needn’t be mentioned, but in a hurried world I enjoy the time that I take out from everything else to stop and play.

10 things to do with the kids when it is hot!

We went into Federation Square (Melbourne) yesterday to see the Animated kids' classics at ACMI . The cartoons were very different change of pace for the kids. Felix the cat was a silent cartoon, but seemed to be the favourite amongst the kids. One of the things that I love about Federation Square (Melbourne) is that whenever I go during the school holidays for kids activities, I always end up getting more than what I expected.

We had planned to just see the cartoons and have lunch in the park, but after we had lunch in the park, we went back into a drop-in workshop where the kids made their own animation. They had a choice of making a flip book or zoetrope with little penguins. My little ones all chose to make the flip books which then kept them amused on the train trip home. As we were leaving Federation Square we also came across a street performer who was juggling fire, much to the awe of my eldest son who received juggling balls from Aunty J for Christmas and knows how tricky it is to juggle. Watching this guy kept us enthralled for some time.


The one thing I dislike about Federation Square is how difficult it is to get around with a pram. Thankfully I had my sister with me and we just lifted the pram down some of the stairs to prevent us from having to go so far out of way from where we wanting to go , just to get to a ramp or elevator. Although, I really don't think I have anything to complain about as it makes me think just how difficult it must be for someone if they are in a wheel chair or have restricted mobility.

Being the massive planning nerd that I am, I frequently check out the Bureau of Meteorology for their 7 day forecast. When I did this morning I was glad that we had gone to Federation Square yesterday as it is going to be extremely hot for the next few days. It started me thinking about what are the best sort of school holiday activities to do when it is hot? I also dearly love a list and came up with 10 things to do on the school holidays when it is hot. This is by no means a comprehensive list, nor even the best 10 things to do when it is hot, so I would love to hear what you get up to when it is hot and then I can make this list a bit more definitive.

(1). Probably the most obvious is to head to the water of some desrciption. We don't have a beach house or close relatives that do, so we don't tend to do this one as much as I would probably like, but we did go to Point Leo the other week end and had a great time. When the Surf Life Saving Club run their Nippers program (see the Calendar link on the Point Leo SLSC site for dates) they have a BBQ going where for a few dollars you can get a sausage in bread and a drink, the beach is patrolled, and their are shower and toilet facilities close by.

(2). Make a big cubby house inside and have a picnic lunch in it.

(3). Visit the library. The air conditioning is generally good and it works in a couple of ways for us. It gives the children something to do before we go - I hand the children the library borrowing receipt and a pen and they have to go and find all the books we have to return. We generally have out 20 or so at a time so it can take some time to do this! Then the kids have a great time choosing some new ones when we are there. Often there is school holiday sessions as well, but you do have to book so check out the library's website ( Boroondara, Yarra Plenty, Yarra, Melbourne, Mildura) and once we get home they can chill out and read the new stuff.

(4). Cook together, something which of course does not require heat. My kids love chocolate balls and they can actually make them by themselves now. I just have to be prepared to clean up a large mess though. Slices, jelly, squeeze oranges and make fruit juice ice blocks for later.

(5). Make Lego stuff (or like product) together. It is amazing how long the kids will make stuff for. We generally end up with a bit of a theme going amongst us, like space craft, cars, or houses. We then put them up on display for a while on a shelf .

(6). Write a joint story. You might remember this one from school. Someone starts of the story and then you take turns at adding a sentence until you have put together a funny little story. We generally start this by handwriting first, then I let the kids publish the work on the computer, where they can then add pictures.

(7). Have a water bomb fight. You can pick up water bomb balloons at the supermarket these days that come with a little squirter bottle to fill the balloons up with. Just save some bath water from the night before and use that to fill them up. You can also use a funnel and jug as that can be easier for the little ones. It is fun to build up a stash of 10-15 each and then declare "war" and run around the backyard and get wet!

(8). Indoor hide and seek - I always tire of this game well before the kids do.

(9). Musical statues - as above.

(10). Go through the family photo albums. My kids love looking at themselves and hearing the stories behind the photos.

As you can probably tell, I try to keep to a budget, so I like school holiday activities that are free or are cheap! Love to hear what ideas you have to stay sane in the heat.